Everyday you will change. Something different is in front of me everyday which influences the person that I am. Of course change does take time, but I've noticed that I am different from when I was a freshman and sophomore in high school. I never thought that I would change though. My freshman and sophomore year I had a really hard time getting through the day. One because I had a tragedy happen to me that I never thought would even happen to me. I was abused you could so say by a classmate. At first I didn't tell anyone about it and I starting sinking into this hole. A very dark deep hole. I never wanted to talk to anyone or even try to make friends which could be why I didn't have very many like everyone else around me. The first steps in my high school career I let slip away because of one situation that happened to me. I always cared what people thought and I would just not stand up for myself let alone anyone else. But soon everything changed. Junior year I decided to speak out and get help. I started to go to therapy and even found a person that I could love as well be loved by, who I am still with today. I also took a major step to not let anyone talk down to me or be cruel. I made sure that the rumors were set straight and that people finally knew the truth. After that things got better and I am no longer that scared little girl. I know how to stand up for myself and those close to me. I no longer live in fear and actuallly believe that I am worth something great which I never thought was even possible.
Now I have to change drastically. I no longer can depend on my mother. I have to depend on myself. Like the Lost Boys who had to change so quickly from being children to basically being adults. I too have to make that change fast. Next week is the week I move out of my house and into the life of college. As nervous as I am I feel that I am prepared to make the move. The maturity that I have learned over the years have allowed for me to face the fears and over come and come out on top!
As being a product of abuse myself, but by my father instead of a classmate, I can understand the struggle with it. Always seeing the same persons face everyday I built up a festering hatred instead of fear. However, like you, I got back on track, but I never got out of my anti-social behavior. I hate initiating a conversation, but I can certainly talk to people as long as they talk to me first.
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