My biggest fear about going away to college is being on my own. I am very use to my mother always being around me that it's hard to imagine her not being there. I'm scared of having to take responsibility for my life. I'm so use to my mother handling my medicail problems or the important paper work. It terrifies me to know that I might mess up. I don't want to lose myself because I am on my own. I want to be able to stay me even though I am going through a different experience and taking a major step of my life. I am also scared to leave my family behind. I will no longer be forced to go to family gatherings, but at the same time it might be hard to make it back home. For example, my cousin who is my age and who has always been close to me is going away to the Air Force. He graduates from Boot Camp in Dec. I won't be able to make it because it's in Texas and I still have school back here in Chicago. It saddens me that I will have to give up a little part of my life in order to live a different life that I want for myself.
The most exciting part of college is being on my own. I know it sounds contradicting, but i'm excited about the fact that I will be allowed to do what I want. For once in my life for the first time in my life I will be able to make my own decisions. No longer will I have my controlling mother breathing down the back of my neck. I will be able to become true to myself. I will no longer feel like I am being controlled by what someone wants to be. I like the fact that I will have the indepence I have never felt before.
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